I'd heard of PTSD, but I'd never connected it to my experience. After all, I thought I just had to suck it up and move on. I believed that as a manual practitioner, I should've known how to fix myself.
At three months postpartum, I went back to work, feeling like a fraud. After so many years of preaching to my clients that they needed to put themselves first. I was putting myself last, because I didn't know how to do it all.I struggled with taking care of my health, and my business at the same time as being a mom and wife.
I was going through the motions of everyday life, reacting to my symptoms and living on the go constantly feeling like I had no time for myself.
If I had back pain I would go get a massage, if I felt ashamed about my body I would dress in clothes that would hide it, and I avoided talking about my birth because it was too hard to talk about when people would respond with a face of shock and tell me "at least you and the baby are safe that's all that matters…"
I learned that I had to address the root cause of how I was feeling after my c-section. The fact is, I felt my power and control was taken away from me and I didn't deal with the trauma from birth and didn't know what to do to help my recovery because doctors don't tell me anything.
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